Our 16th Wedding Anniversary *13 Things to keep a Good Marriage

Today Is our 16th Wedding Anniversary, WOW! Here is a photo of how I looked as a bride 16 yrs ago today!
I must Say 1st and Foremost God must be put 1st in your life, If I did not have him to lean on I could never have made it through! Thank You Jesus For your Grace Mercy and Strength!

1. Notice the little things. Typically, when I think of "noticing the little things" I have an image of a man not noticing his wife's dramatic hair cut, or a completely rearranged house. However, it is important to notice the little things, for instance, if your spouse does a chore you normally do.
2. Do the little things. Be the spouse that does the extra chore. In my home, I am always so thankful when my husband empties the dish washer or takes our dogs for a walk when it is my turn.
3. Encourage your spouse in whatever they are doing. As I was sitting here writing this article, my husband actually needed my encouragement to continue studying! My husband is so good about knowing when I need encouragement as well as what type of encouragement I need.
4. Keep a good attitude. It is easy to bring others around you down when you have a bad attitude. I know that too often I have the wrong attitude and that it can negatively impact my husband. Just in the same way it is easy to bring others around you down, you can also bring others around you up by having a good attitude.
5. Treat your spouse the way you would want to be treated. Exercise the golden rule. By first considering how you might respond to your own actions (whether good or bad) you can help prevent treating your spouse poorly.
6. Learn when to listen and when to talk. Sometimes I need to talk to my husband, and sometimes I need him to listen. This is a true art (one I have not mastered yet!).

Get your deal straight

7.Marriage is different from living together. Both of you will have different expectations of a 'spouse' and a 'partner' - often basing those expectations on what you saw of your parents' married life.

Successful couples talk deeply before the wedding about their expectations of each other. After the wedding, successful couples also talk regularly to check their expectations of married life. If those expectations clash, they keep communicating until they have understanding and agreement.

Keep your individuality

8..However independent you were before, marriage has a habit of sucking you in to being a couple. Particularly if the marriage involves children, your lives are increasingly tied up together day to day. The result is often feeling both dependent and depended on.

Successful couples know that marriage can bring this trapped feeling. They encourage each other not to be always 'us', to take 'me' time and to have 'me' hobbies. This way, each partner brings individuality in to the marriage, keeping it fresh and alive.

Keep each other center stage

9.It's tempting, once married, to forget the little courtesies. Marriage can cause a sea of change and often you stop being courteous to each other, stop seeing each other as important and instead start putting other things - like work, hobbies or the children - first.

Successful couples always keep each other centre stage. They are interested in their partner's opinions. They refer to their spouse in glowing terms when talking to other people. In short, they never take each other for granted and remember how lucky they are to be married.

Learn to resolve conflicts

10.American psychologist John Gottman did a 20-year study of married couples and concluded that the main element that separated success from failure was whether or not they could resolve conflicts.

The bottom line is that there'll be times when you disagree and times when these disagreements cause pain. Successful couples keep communicating, whatever the bad feeling between them. They negotiate differences and disagreements so that they both end up getting a fair deal.

Keep the lust alive

11.On your wedding night, you may rip each other's knickers off - but, to be honest, in the years that follow, desire's going to dip. Plus, nowadays, marriage often coincides with the ultimate passion killer - the birth of your first baby.

Successful couples know that to keep lust alive, you need to actively prioritise lovemaking and make time and space for it. You need to make sure you're constantly updating your knowledge of each other's sexual needs, and finding new ways to please each other. If there's a sexual drought, ride it out by flirting, touching, hugging, kissing and being romantic.

Grow with each other

12.The bottom line is that the person you marry won't be the person you're still married to in 10 years' time. You'll both change - particularly at crunch points in your lives such as starting a family, losing a parent or facing the empty nest.

Successful couples know that one or both partners will shift in personality at these times. They anticipate shifts and ride with them. Rather than demanding they both stay the same forever, they welcome the natural developments of personality and partnership that happen with time.

Keep working at it

13.The fact that you're married can make you rest on your laurels - as the years pass, you may feel that nothing can harm your bond.

But beware! Time and a false sense of security can erode even the strongest love. If one or both of you are discontented then fix the problem. And don't feel shy about getting professional help. Successful couples don't wait until the divorce papers are signed before seeing a counselor - they troubleshoot at the earliest possible moment.

We had a small wedding on a Friday night at 6pm, (we booked the reception hall 2 yrs in advance, since I wanted a June wedding badly I had to settle for a friday night)! The Temperature was cooler ( 72 degrees)and an over cast cloudy day! I was SO nervous in that 30 min ceremony that Even though my Aunt sewed in under arm pads in this amazingly gorgeous, I managed to sweat through all of it! See I really do have bad nerves!;) My colors then were mauve and teal, and over the yrs I got more fond of Hunter Green and Burgandy! ( darker versions) I was engaged at christmas 5 months after we started dating. I got my gorgeous dress 1 yr ahead at the Pennys outlet for $175.00. We had a non alcoholic wedding, It was a perfect evening! Here is how happy and young.... ahem......

And Today! My how time flies, there will be many rocky roads ahead but press through, You can do it! Today There will be no celebrations! My DH is having Knee Surgery,( please pray) so after work I will have a long awaited day at the hospital then taking Kedric to his softball game!
Happy Thursday everyone!